T-15 Isn’t that incredible?

Yesterday I got a gift through a horrible circumstance, the memorial service of a colleague’s wife, the true love of his life, Kim. She was 43 years old. Her kids are 15 and 16. I never really met her.
It was so, so, so sad. And yet, and yet so hopeful too. Every person that spoke to the standing room only crowd (and there were many speakers, her father-in-law, her mother-in-law, her sister-in-law, her brother, her mother, Karate Master, best friends, son, daughter, daughter’s best friend, and on and on) spoke with such, such, KIMBOSITY. (kimbosity. adj: having unbounding positive energy that is overflowing with passion and is totally contagious). I am convinced she would be in the Guinness Book of World Records for most loving human. The stories told were real and gutsy and filled in the blanks of a man Jeff and I have known as a mensch for 13+ years.

Her gift to me was already in motion–living a dream–going to live in Ghana. I don’t really need the affirmation that this move is important, necessary, if you will. Yet, as Sarah said, what does this death mean to G-d? It is so tragic, she said, G-d must be planning a huge miracle. Then she said, well, maybe Obama being elected was the miracle. If I am puzzled, then Pete and his family must be in agony and hopefully we humans will let go of there needing to be any why at all. There will be many, many folks wandering around asking themselves, “what would Kim do, what would Kim say to help me find my way?” And they will get the clear answers they are looking for because they had the good fortune of being touched by so much love and life.

What she left me is the gift of living now. The world doesn’t stop because you’ve lost a wife, or that you are having a fight with your boss, or that you are being unfairly judged. I feel so deeply for Pete and his family…to walk into a store, to go into a restaurant, holding all that pain, and not knowing how to tell the universe to slow down or be more gentle with them. And you know, the universe can be very yielding and hopefully, hopefully they will find a new rhythm. And the world won’t stop because we are going to Ghana. Children will have play dates without our kids, good friends will move here without us to greet them, decisions made without our two cents. Some people take it personally that you are leaving, some thrive through your adventure. And all you can know is that you are living now and doing the best you can do to make decisions for yourself and your family that keep them full of living a life of Kimbosity. And if it hurts a little that’s okay, as long as it keeps expanding the boundaries of your heart.

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